(warning, this is a post-convention season post. AKA, I got the blues)
In my little group of friends, (and by group of friends, I mean any group of friends… from high school to college to LARPs to now), I’ve always been the one with no problems.
I’ve never had trouble in school, my teachers all liked me, sure, I was bullied a bit since I was a 90’s geek, but nothing horrible… if anything it taught me that I’m so much better than to give a crap about trolls.
My parents are still together after 27 ish years of marriage, I have a lovely geek brother and a lovely open minded energetic sister… no one in my extended family is a complete fuck up, and I work in what I love to do.
Thus said, I’ve always been the one to listen because of this.
Don’t get me wrong, my friends are my life, and I would throw myself off a cliff while eating spiders if it’s what it took to cheer them up. Thing is, in today’s society, even if you have everything you desire, it’s not true that you are immune to depressive mood swings, or that you can’t feel like a complete failure. And I do feel like that from time to time…
Who do I talk to?
My boyfriend doesn’t believe in depression or other emotional mental illness, my family either. And my friends all have a lot worse problems than my occasional mood swings to deal with.
So I listen, I give hugs, I try to make the people in my little world a bit happier, hoping that someday may be I’ll work up the courage to think about myself too and share my problems.